Tuesday, July 20, 2021

SOME MANIFESTATION OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

  

I can categorically say that many partners can not tell whether  they are in a healthy relationship or not, as such, to notice that a relationship is becoming unhealthy or dying is very important in protecting your emotional being, if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship,it doesn't  necessarily mean you need to quit but knowing the signs will help you draw a line about what’s allowed in your life and not, and also look or think for measure you can use to restore your relationship and also you need to know when enough is enough, when to address them and if need be or to let go of such a relationship. Of course leaving a relationship is not as easy as it seem but you wouldn't  want to trade your strength, energy, peace of mind any longer for it,a healthy relationship should nurture your strength and not focus on weaknesses. An unhealthy relationship is defined by high frequency of disrespect which ought not to be. 

Also read the signs that your relationship is dying gradually

These are some of the manifestations, take note of all these things, 

 Excessive Jealousy: Jealousy is a normal part of a relationship, it’s okay to feel occasionally insecure and probably want an assurance from your partner just as long as it doesn't  get out of hand, unhealthy relationship is all about wild and irrational jealousy, your partner may become possessive of you and start invading your privacy, constantly going through your bills, receipts, even reading your messages, chat and restrict who you interact with and not interact with, your partner may become more demanding and wanting to know your movement all the time, your partner may even accuse you of flirting with other people and not ready to listen When you tell them it’s not true. 

Isolation: Isolation starts when your partner starts pulling you away from your friends and family, they see your support system as a threat to the relationship, cutting you off everything, they question or guilt you if they’ve seen you’re deriving happiness from anything other than them, this is not a healthy relationship, it constantly shows some level of control, possessiveness.

 Stability: The relationship is static, no growth, no efforts to love More, no investment in the relationship, your interest isn’t theirs, they don’t care about what’s important to you. No plan of future and panning together for future. The feeling in relationship should be new every morning. It should be developing, increasing. 

Belittling: Your partner should stand by you  at all times and in all situations. In a healthy relationship, words of your partner should build you up and not break you, they should make you feel more confident, more secure not less and insecure. But in an unhealthy relationships, words are used as weapons, conversation that should be fun turns out to be embarrassing, your partner making fun of you in a way that hurts you then if you try expressing your feeling for being hurt, they shut you down accuse you of over reacting.

Volatility: This involves physical violence, tearful fights, hitting, kicking economic abuse, emotionally abuse, not having access to finances, finances are being controlled. The relationship feels constantly unsafe and insecure with emotions going on -again and back-again with no consistency, frequent breakups and makeups, you hear words like, you’re worthless, I’m not even sure why I’m with you, having shots constantly fired at you, reminding you how wrong you’ve been in the past and sometimes followed by apologies that it won’t happen again, unfortunately, by this time you may not understand how dangerous and unhealthy this relationship is because your mind is already conditioned to their past. If your partner is physically, emotionally or verbally abusing you, you need to leave such relationship, don’t justify their actions or take blame on yourself. Don't, you’re enough.

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Monday, July 12, 2021

SIGNS THAT SHOW THAT HE IS SERIOUS FOR MARRIAGE

Everyone look serious and real at the initial time of the relationship, it will look as if he will marry you within the space of few months but as soon as he is done with what he actually need, you will never see that man you know in him again. 

When you meet someone for relationship, your expectation is always that it will lead to marriage, but most time after wasting the whole time with him, story will come up. How that or this is not like this or like that. He will accused you of one thing or the other in order to end the relationship. 

Also see how to differentiate love from lust

Many will come with interesting words like, "I will marry you or I want you in my life" but deep down in their heart, they have another thing in mind. His intentions is not for marriage at all but he will use the word "I want to marry you" in order to get you and fulfil their mission. 

We will look at these signs that might be an indication that he is real. But mind you that someone can do all these things mentioned here and still be fake. But be conscious and activate your antenna for you not to be deceived when they act as if they are real. 

Nevertheless, let us look at some of these signs briefly. 

1. He will always open up to you, he be ready to tell you everything about himself without hiding anything or sugarcoating anything about him.

2. He can't be tired of seeing you or being with you. He will always be happy to be with you, to spend more time with you.

3. He can't stay too long without hearing from you. He will always create time for you irrespective the tight schedule. You will be the first thought and last each day.

4. He would ask to know more about you, not just your financial status but about your well-being. Your interest. Your future and your vision in life. And he will be willing to support you to achieve that dream 

5. He will not be in haste to sleep with you. He will patiently wait till the right time.

6. The man will not be ashamed to introduce you to his friends and family. He won't be ashamed to introduce you to people.

7. He won't waste time to see your family. He won't wait until he test and test and testify before seeing your family. And after seeing your family he will start doing something immediately like marital rite without delay since he is satisfied. 

8. He will introduce you to his mentor, someone that he listen to and obey at all cost. He won't keep the relationship secret. 

9. He will always include you in all his plans, such as, "we" not "I" and "our" not "my". Most time he plan with you you. He seeks your opinion in his plan 

10. He will always be sincere to you. He can't lie or pretend to get you. If it is black he will tell you that it is black if it is white he will tell you that it is black and if you make your findings it will be exactly what he told you. 


Thank you for your time. 

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