CAUSES OF MARITAL DELAY

 1. BOYFRIEND

The last thing on a boy's mind is marriage.

Boys don't think of marriage, they want to make money first, they enter into relationship just for fun and sex, that's why if the lady should get pregnant, they ask her to abort it, or they'll deny her, because they aren't ready for marriage. 

Stop dating boys

Boyfriends will keep scaring away serious and well meaning suitors because they'll be thinking that the boyfriend that always hangs around you actually wants to marry you.

See also 20 mistakes that ladies called love

2 ENGAGEMENT RING

This is that spirit that makes you keep raising your finger to show the world that one young man engaged you and when the serious suitors that are ready to settle down see the ring, they'll pass over you because the ring tells them you have been taken.

And time is going, the brother isn't saying anything again, the ring has started to rust on your finger in protest.

Many engagement rings are actually handcuffs, some are not better than key holders.

Aunty, say no to Lord of the Rings.

3. HARD TO GET

See also avoid been used and dumped here

This spirit tells you not to accept a marriage proposal in a hurry, to do plenty unnecessary gimmicks so that the brother will not think you are cheap or desperate.

It tells you to tell him to give you nine months to pray, don't pick his calls, ignore his WhatsApp messages, behave as if you are not interested even though you are dying on the inside and truly love the brother.

This spirit will not leave you until you hear the brother is getting married to another sister, then your eyes will open and you will start saying "can't he even wait for me"

Wait for you? Because you are Jesus Christ?

Sister, if you love the brother and you perceive he is God's will for you, accept the proposal.

4. PROUD SPIRIT

That spirit that tells you to always talk to brothers anyhow because you are beautiful educated, and anointed.

That spirit that tells you that every brother that greets you is not your class, so you keep ignoring and looking down on them.

That spirit that doesn't allow you to greet brothers except those that ride exotic cars.

Sister, calm down and be humble. You won't marry yourself oh.....

5. DENOMINATIONAL/TRIBAL SPIRIT

I am a Catholic and must marry a Catholic.

I'm a Deeper Lifer and must marry one who's a Deeper Lifer as well so our marriage will be deep.

I am a Redeemer and must marry a Redeemer, any other Brother isn't redeemed.

Even if God is leading you to him.

I'm from Rivers state and must marry from Rivers. River will soon carry you.

This spirit has kept many bound, they entered menopause and are about to join the Women's fellowship because of their age.

Aunty, understood that every believer is from one tribe called Christ.

If God is leading you to another denomination, kindly obey Him, stop delaying yourself by yourself

6. BAD CHARACTER

The character of some ladies shocks even the devil.

They will open their mouth to insult someone and you will cry for the person. 

They quarrel and fight in public, no shame, self-respect and dignity.

Their pride, their arrogance, their attitude, all the brothers are running, sorry, FLEEING from them like ants running away from fire. Who want die?

This spirit has kept many ladies single, by the time any brother gets close because of her beautiful MASCARA, her CHARACTER will chase him away.

Aunty, this year, work on your character, your date will be fixed this year in Jesus Name.

7 POOR DRESS SENSE

That spirit that tells you not to dress well because you are going to heaven. Special Heavenly candidate.

You dress and add 10 years to your age.

You dress and brothers will be greeting you "Good afternoon Ma." "Yes Ma" "Thank you Ma"

This spirit tells you to use tarpaulin to sew your dress, wear green skirt, yellow blouse and lemon head tie.

You are a lady but dress like a man; Sister, no Man wants to marry his fellow man.

Dress well, don't under dress and don't over dress.

Dress modestly, smell good because it's not a sin. We said don't dress indecently, we never said don't dress well.

8 SPIRITUAL PROBLEM

This is for real, this is why I encourage everyone to be prayerful, prayer isn't only for Pastors,

Things are happening. Be spiritual

There are people whose marriages have been hijacked in spirit realms and only prayers and God can break such yokes.

May your Marriage come soon.

Read, discern and make the needful correction.

SOME MANIFESTATION OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

  

I can categorically say that many partners can not tell whether  they are in a healthy relationship or not, as such, to notice that a relationship is becoming unhealthy or dying is very important in protecting your emotional being, if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship,it doesn't  necessarily mean you need to quit but knowing the signs will help you draw a line about what’s allowed in your life and not, and also look or think for measure you can use to restore your relationship and also you need to know when enough is enough, when to address them and if need be or to let go of such a relationship. Of course leaving a relationship is not as easy as it seem but you wouldn't  want to trade your strength, energy, peace of mind any longer for it,a healthy relationship should nurture your strength and not focus on weaknesses. An unhealthy relationship is defined by high frequency of disrespect which ought not to be. 

Also read the signs that your relationship is dying gradually

These are some of the manifestations, take note of all these things, 

 Excessive Jealousy: Jealousy is a normal part of a relationship, it’s okay to feel occasionally insecure and probably want an assurance from your partner just as long as it doesn't  get out of hand, unhealthy relationship is all about wild and irrational jealousy, your partner may become possessive of you and start invading your privacy, constantly going through your bills, receipts, even reading your messages, chat and restrict who you interact with and not interact with, your partner may become more demanding and wanting to know your movement all the time, your partner may even accuse you of flirting with other people and not ready to listen When you tell them it’s not true. 

Isolation: Isolation starts when your partner starts pulling you away from your friends and family, they see your support system as a threat to the relationship, cutting you off everything, they question or guilt you if they’ve seen you’re deriving happiness from anything other than them, this is not a healthy relationship, it constantly shows some level of control, possessiveness.

 Stability: The relationship is static, no growth, no efforts to love More, no investment in the relationship, your interest isn’t theirs, they don’t care about what’s important to you. No plan of future and panning together for future. The feeling in relationship should be new every morning. It should be developing, increasing. 

Belittling: Your partner should stand by you  at all times and in all situations. In a healthy relationship, words of your partner should build you up and not break you, they should make you feel more confident, more secure not less and insecure. But in an unhealthy relationships, words are used as weapons, conversation that should be fun turns out to be embarrassing, your partner making fun of you in a way that hurts you then if you try expressing your feeling for being hurt, they shut you down accuse you of over reacting.

Volatility: This involves physical violence, tearful fights, hitting, kicking economic abuse, emotionally abuse, not having access to finances, finances are being controlled. The relationship feels constantly unsafe and insecure with emotions going on -again and back-again with no consistency, frequent breakups and makeups, you hear words like, you’re worthless, I’m not even sure why I’m with you, having shots constantly fired at you, reminding you how wrong you’ve been in the past and sometimes followed by apologies that it won’t happen again, unfortunately, by this time you may not understand how dangerous and unhealthy this relationship is because your mind is already conditioned to their past. If your partner is physically, emotionally or verbally abusing you, you need to leave such relationship, don’t justify their actions or take blame on yourself. Don't, you’re enough.

Thanks for your time 

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SIGNS THAT SHOW THAT HE IS SERIOUS FOR MARRIAGE

Everyone look serious and real at the initial time of the relationship, it will look as if he will marry you within the space of few months but as soon as he is done with what he actually need, you will never see that man you know in him again. 

When you meet someone for relationship, your expectation is always that it will lead to marriage, but most time after wasting the whole time with him, story will come up. How that or this is not like this or like that. He will accused you of one thing or the other in order to end the relationship. 

Also see how to differentiate love from lust

Many will come with interesting words like, "I will marry you or I want you in my life" but deep down in their heart, they have another thing in mind. His intentions is not for marriage at all but he will use the word "I want to marry you" in order to get you and fulfil their mission. 

We will look at these signs that might be an indication that he is real. But mind you that someone can do all these things mentioned here and still be fake. But be conscious and activate your antenna for you not to be deceived when they act as if they are real. 

Nevertheless, let us look at some of these signs briefly. 

1. He will always open up to you, he be ready to tell you everything about himself without hiding anything or sugarcoating anything about him.

2. He can't be tired of seeing you or being with you. He will always be happy to be with you, to spend more time with you.

3. He can't stay too long without hearing from you. He will always create time for you irrespective the tight schedule. You will be the first thought and last each day.

4. He would ask to know more about you, not just your financial status but about your well-being. Your interest. Your future and your vision in life. And he will be willing to support you to achieve that dream 

5. He will not be in haste to sleep with you. He will patiently wait till the right time.

6. The man will not be ashamed to introduce you to his friends and family. He won't be ashamed to introduce you to people.

7. He won't waste time to see your family. He won't wait until he test and test and testify before seeing your family. And after seeing your family he will start doing something immediately like marital rite without delay since he is satisfied. 

8. He will introduce you to his mentor, someone that he listen to and obey at all cost. He won't keep the relationship secret. 

9. He will always include you in all his plans, such as, "we" not "I" and "our" not "my". Most time he plan with you you. He seeks your opinion in his plan 

10. He will always be sincere to you. He can't lie or pretend to get you. If it is black he will tell you that it is black if it is white he will tell you that it is black and if you make your findings it will be exactly what he told you. 

Thank you for your time. 

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HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE LOVE AND LUST

Often times, life will throw us into confusion on how to differentiate between LOVE and LUST. This will tell us the little difference between the two. It will save us from the heat break because we will be able to read the mind from the character. 

We will start from love. Scripture reading 1 cor 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.

 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear.

Love.

It can wait.it doesn't always in hurry. It always give other time to conclude. 

Kind, feel for others, it's concerned about the way others feel. Concern if everything is alright with others

It not jealous; it allows other to exchange pleasantries with opposite sex without feeling bad. He/she have confidence and trust. 

It's accept you as you are; it accept your fault, your error and give you time to adjust and also help you in the areas he/she can

It's not easily provoked; he tolerates the other, not easily angered. It gives rooms for peace.

Not selfish; it's not after mine alone, all his/her desire is we no I. He/she is always after our welfare not my, my alone

Self control; he/she have self control, not let do it now. He/she can control her urge, desire. 

Hate immoral; doesn't delight in doing the right. All the intentions is to do the right. To have a good record. 

Contented; he/she is owk with what is available, not seeking to acquire it all irrespective the hazard or what it will ccause    

Honesty: he/she is always sincere at all cost. If he/she says his/her yes remains even in many years and in all situations 

It doesn't die; when things goes sur and tough the he/she will still be there and stand in support. 

LUST

This is another feeling that is similarly to love that if you are not careful you will mistake it to love. But though it have its differences. 

Let us see 2 Samuel 13:1-15

 David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her.

Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible that he could ever fulfill his love for her.

 Now Amnon had a very crafty friend--his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimea.

One day Jonadab said to Amnon, "What's the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?" So Amnon told him, "I am in love with Tamar, Absalom's sister."

"Well," Jonadab said, "I'll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are sick. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you'll feel better if she feeds you."

 So Amnon pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, "Please let Tamar come to take care of me and cook something for me to eat."

So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon's house to prepare some food for him.

When Tamar arrived at Amnon's house, she went to the room where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked some special bread for him.

But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. "Everyone get out of here," Amnon told his servants. So they all left.

Then he said to Tamar, "Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here." So Tamar took it to him.

But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, "Come to bed with me, my darling sister."

"No, my brother!" she cried. "Don't be foolish! Don't do this to me! You know what a serious crime it is to do such a thing in Israel.

 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me."

But Amnon wouldn't listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.

 Then suddenly Amnon's love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. "Get out of here!" he snarled at her.

In hurry; he/always want it now now. No time. And as soon as it get it, it disappears just like the above passage. 

Very rude; He/She is always harsh, doesn't show act of remorse or respect. 

Very jealous; he/she always very possessive. Feel talking seeing you talking/chatting or even exchanging pleasantries with an opposite sex. Seeing you standing with opposite sex seems to him/her that you have slept with him/her. 

It want change; He doesn't accept you the way you are, he/she want you to be the way he/she want just to suit her/his desire. 

Easily angered; Always angry over little things. Even your little mistake looks like slap or like insult to him/her. If you mistakenly stepped on him/her you are gone. 

It very selfish; always want his/her own without minding about other. Doesn't care if other are in favour no it doesn't matter so far he/she is good. 

Lack of self control; too loose to everything. Always want it immediately, hardly hold his/her urge. 

It is immoral; always pleased with committing sin. All time in his/her thoughts is one bad thing or the other

Seek material things; always demanding give me this and that. Alway want to acquire everything. Just to gain all things and live

Dishonest in act; can never be sincere in all he/she does. In fact he/her good morning will always be verified.He/she lies to get all he/she want. 

Die easily; it does not withstand the test of time, just little trial or hard time it's gone

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SIDE CHICK MATTER

 

Why do some men prefer the side chick than the front chick(wife) ?

For some times now we have heard so many times a man will be sent to early grave because of side chick. Women will be turned to emergency widow and children turned to emergency fatherless because of the side chick. 

The question here is what is the special thing about the side chick that the front chick didn't have? 

The front chick may not look like the side chick. No doubt, absolutely you are right. The front chick didn't have flat Tommy, pointed breast, curved bum like that of the side chick. I totally agree with you but why did the front chick didn't have it? What happened to her own. 

Let us go back to the memory lane;

1. Could you remember when you saw her(front chick) for the first time in life? 

2. Could you remember the sleepless night before she said yes? 

3. Could you remember the gift for her to say yes? 

4. Could you remember the joy whenever she spoke with you? 

6. Could you remember the joy of having her then? 

Now, what happened to all those experiences? Is it because she have produced child(ren) for you and those look disappeared. You think so? 

You may say that she is no longer taking care of herself and she now look old. My brother come home now let us reason together. She is taking care of your home and kid(s) you should take care of her likewise. Because of your kid(s) she didn't have time to take care of herself. So it's your responsibility to take care of her. 

Moreso, she look this way now because you that suppose to be her mirror have left your duty post. You are busy comparing her with someone that has never sat down to think how she can make her children and husband  happy. You are comparing her to a side chick that is living fine because of the financial contribution from different men. You are comparing her to the side chick that have men that fills her emotional tank. 

Your front chick is like this now because you stop looking at her. You stopped  calling her. You stopped asking how she is feeling. You stopped that romantic touch. You stopped sending recharge card. You stop buying this shawarma. You stopped filling her emotional tank, you stopped giving her undivided attention. She lack quality time and conversation. You have diverted all that to side chick and abandoned the front chick. Her emotional tank is totally empty 

If you can take a snap shot of those dress that the side chick puts on to get your attention, go to market buy it for her. Give her peace and emotional security you will see her look better than that side chick. 

Instead of taking the side chick out take the front chick out. Her outing shouldn't be only women meeting, church work or business. Flex her again, she is still that babe. That your highper killer, she is still that hottest girl in town. Get those meat, juice and what have you for her you will see her body coming back like before 

Make out time to assist her in her domestic work so that she can have time to rest. Let her have the muscling special touch from you again . 

For you, you may have said that side chick can't kill you or can't do this or that to you. I wish same to you but remember no one heap a charcoal of fire on his lap with his lap been burnt. That you are not a victim today is not a guarantee that such can't happen. The victims now can never believe that such could happened. But it is not my wish that it will happen but it's my desire that you didn't continue keeping the side chick anymore. Though she might not kill you but can you be sure of her health status? I guess no. Hope you no the implications to your own children and generation? 

My sister, the side chick, don't be offended but listen. How will you feel if you marry and  your husband decided to keep side chick? I guess sad. You no what goes around come around. You may need money yes I know but it shouldn't be by robbing someone's husband. Sister, babe work hard the money will come. Manage the little you have. Save your future. It comes back in different ways. Many that have had the trouble life as a result of this most of them can't come back and tell you the truth. Men can promise you anything or even give you anything to sleep with you. But after that, he won't regard you again. Your value drops as soon as he sleep with you. The whole regard will die. He will still be calling you but inside his mind you are gone. Do you know when you turn a speedy fan off, it won't stop immediately. But it takes time to stop. 

So be wise and be useful 

Honorable men, the bride of the father, don't turn this woman to widow or those children to fatherless because of the side chick. They still need you. The enjoyment with the side chick is temporal but the suffering is perpetual. Let maintain our fatherhood dignity by respecting our home, culture, creator and generation. 

I hope I have not made you angry. 

I so much love you and wish all the best for you. 

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20 ERRORS/MISTAKES THAT LADIES CALLED LOVE

There are some things ladies do, though some ladies know that is wrong but some don't know. Some think that it's love. Some are just doing it thinking of getting things working out by that. But most times it turns negative. 

1. Thinking that you will attract real men by exposing your nakedness. No real men eats covered food

2. Stay in abusive/toxic relationship hoping that he will change 

3. Thinking that you can change a man's bad character with your love

4. Thinking that sleeping with you means that he love you and will marry you.

5. Thinking that you are more beautiful wearing excessive make up, artificial breast, boom than natural self. What do you think that will happen the day he will see the real you. 

6. Thinking that introducing you to his parents, friends and relatives means that he is serious. 

7. Afraid to loose who is not afraid to loose you. 

8. Excessive jealous is because he love you. 

9. Giving you all you want means that he will marry you. 

10. Living with a man who has not paid your pride price or wedded you.

11. Wearing the engagement ring of a man who doesn't even know your home, seen your parents or received your parents consent.

12. Using your boyfriend's picture as your profile picture.

13. Giving your BRIDE PRIDE (virginity) to a man who has not paid your Bride Price.

14. Bathing naked with a guy that is not your husband.

15. Cooking  regularly and washing clothes for a man that is not your husband.

16. Public show of romance with a man that is not your husband.

17. Disobeying your parents for the sake of a man who your parents don't even know or have accepted.

18. Disobeying God because of a man.

19. Accepting to be the second, third wife maybe because of his wealth. 

20. Accepting him because of his wealth or background. 

Some girls would say, I know it's wrong to have sex with him, but I love him and don't want him to get another girl, don't you think that it makes you look so  cheap before him. Giving a man your precious body simply because he promised you marriage is burning your house because he promised you a visa. That he promised doesn't mean that he will. You sin against God and deny His promise because you want to please a man because his own promise. 

If he value you, he will marry you before keeping you in his house. You can't see anybody that will go to a car dealer carry the car he like, keep it in his house, driving it around the city without paying for it. Unless he the car he pick in dustbin or he stole. 

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WHY MANY RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGES FAIL

Most times we will be wondering why many marriages/relationships fails. Some could start well but all of a sudden it will become a history. The question here is why?

Most times people will look at it and concluded that it fails because of lack of money but in recent time now we have heard of marriage of the wealthy people that collapsed. We even also heard of men of God in different categories that lost their marriages. Not only that, we also heard of many learned people, professionals that have lost their marriage.

The questions here remains why?

Here we will discuss about one among the factors that makes marriages/relationships to fail. Then in subsequent post we will see more of it.

NOTE:  if you are among the people that believe that good marriage or relationship is by luck or destiny, this message is not for you

We will discuss one of the reasons in this segment. 

1. LACK OF PREPARATION: someone  may say, " I prepare very well for this marriage, I spent a lot of money, invited many dignitaries many people attended and were all satisfied"

So many may say, of course I have prepared. I read many articles about marriage and relationship. I attended many seminars. Listened to many tapes. 

That is a good report. But many people spend much time preparing for wedding that is just for one day without preparing for marriage that will last for the lifetime.

People will spend years prepare for or study for a particular course. Or spend much time receive training in a particular profession or hand work. But in marriage it be like, is not just normal life and all that. Remember it's not all normal life that you can live unless you receive knowledge about that life. 

As you are planning to go into this lifetime engagement or you are already in, The questions is what is your plan? What is your wish/desire about the marriage. 

Then, how are you implementing the plans? All those things your learned during seminars and from the tape and what have you how are you implementing it? 

You should have a lay down plans backed up with prayer and practice. 

Let us look at this passage in scripture LUKE 14:28-32(NLT) 

  "But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if there is enough money to pay the bills?

 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of funds. And then how everyone would laugh at you!

They would say, 'There's the person who started that building and ran out of money before it was finished!'

"Or what king would ever dream of going to war without first sitting down with his counselors and discussing whether his army of ten thousand is strong enough to defeat the twenty thousand soldiers who are marching against him?

 If he is not able, then while the enemy is still far away, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace.

You must sit and count the cost. What will it take to build it till the end. Many have started but they could not finish. In our society today, we have many people that live together as couple but they are lonely. Some have left the affairs of the home to either the woman (most) or the man. And that gave birth to the kind of terrible society we have today. 

God said in malachi 2:15(AMP) 

Mal.2.15 - Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard yourself; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

Some parent have separated from the children emotionally. The impact of a parent can't be felt among the children anymore. And those children turn out to be a terror to the society today. 

God brought you together to raise a godly generation. That is to say in a home the influence of the fatherhood should be felt and that of the motherhood too. It's the combination of this effort that will give results to that God's expectation. 

CONCLUSION

Plan to work as union, have a plan for your children. Have a plan for all the home affairs. Have a plan to eradicate some of those characters that can jeopardize your union. Planing is the secret of success. 

Proper preparation prevents poor performance. The preparation must be accompanied with implementation. 

Finally plan together how to work together 

Thank you so much for your time. Don't forget to lik, comment and follow us for more articles 

WHAT TO LOOK AT WHEN YOU HAVE MANY SUITORS

As a lady, when many men begin to seek for your hand in marriage and coming to your father's house to look for flowers to pluck that they didn't plant, you should know that you are in your prime.

When you are in your prime, you're more beautiful, you will experience influx of men seeking to have you, you're body is more developed, attractive and enticing and you look more matured etc. Just like the Bible said that all things are beautiful in its time(Eccl.3:11).

Therefore, it's important you maximize this season of your life because it doesn't last forever. Once you pass your prime, men coming for your hand in marriage will reduce in number. They won't come as they used to hence the need to make good use of your prime. 

So, what do you do when you have many men coming for you almost at the same time? 

1. Don't Commit Anyone Of Them 

Don't tell Mr A that you will marry him and tell Mr B that you will marry him also, the same thing with Mr C. Don't do that. Tell them you will get back to them. Take your time and make the best choice. 

Accepting marriage proposals from different men is setting up yourself for disaster. Don't do that. If you're not sure of anyone, tell them you'll get back to them. 

2. Get Knowledge of Them 

These people that are coming for your hand in marriage, who are they? What do they stand for? What are their values, interests, beliefs, vision and ambition in life? What do they do for a living? Are they children of God? Which of them do you really love and which of them really loves you too? Get to know them individually. 

That's why dating is there. It helps you to know the sustainability of a potential life partner. Dating isn't for eating fried rice and chicken, licking ice cream, visiting the beach and the cinema etc., but a time to get to know someone. Until you have accepted a man's proposal, you're free to go out with anyone you dim fit. 

 3. Don't Be Moved By Sight 

We all like better things, no doubt. We all want a comfortable life including this man writing this. Nobody comes to the world to suffer but you know that not all that glitters are gold and money isn't everything.

Don't let the car keys they're dangling in your front to deceive you. He's rich, handsome, connected, tall, thick etc., shouldn't deceive you. Go for good qualities first. Check out the stuff they're made of. That car key maybe not be their own. 

 4. Don't Accept Gifts. 

The Bible said that the gift of a man makes a way for him, so men know how to use gifts to have their way with women. Also gifts have a way of blindfolding one from making a sound decision.

Don't allow the shoes, handbags, clothes, fried rice and chicken, vacations, movie tickets etc., to becloud your season of reasoning. Even if you want to collect gifts, make it clear to the person that the gifts won't influence your decision.

5. Pray About It

The Bible says, ask and you shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you. Also, the Bible says that you shouldn't lean on your own understanding but in all your ways, acknowledge God and He will direct your steps(Matt 7:7; Prov 3:5). 

The secret things belongs to God and those things that are revealed belongs to His children. So, go to God in prayers and present the men coming for your hand in marriage and ask Him which one among them is best for you. If you're God's child, He'll direct you.(Deut 29:29)

After your prayers, go ahead and accept whoever you're led to. Don't ever make the choice of a life partner without involving God.

Conclusively, take your time and make the right decision. No competition in marriage. No award for who first marry. No award for best wedding. No award for the internet breaking marriage. No award for having 200 bridesmaids that you don't even know. Take your time.

HOW TO ERADICATE UNWANTED HABITS

We will start by discussing  what the habit is all about. 

WHAT IS HABITS? 

1. An action done on a regular basis.

2. An action performed repeatedly and automatically, usually without awareness.

3. A long piece of clothing worn by monks and nuns.

4. An addiction.

5. A routine of behaviour that is repeated regularly

and tends to occur subconsciously. New

behaviours can become automatic through the

process of habit formation.

Habit can be done consciously or unconsciously. Some can trace the beginning of their habitual act while some can't trace theirs. Most habit can be wanted while some are unwanted. 

Some habit can be by;

The Actions we perform 

Word we speaks

The food or think we take

Where we goes

People we spent time with etc. 

Some habits can be inherited from from, parents or environment. Some can be as a result of work or engagement. It believes that what you did for 30 days becomes a habits. 

WE ARE LOOKING FOR UNWANTED HABITS. 

Unwanted habits are those actions we perform, or words you constantly use or the food or things we constantly eat, drink or take unconsciously which from our whole heart, we are not pleased with.

Most times, we may wish to stop a particular habit but the the more we fight or try to stop it, the more we involve more it. We may decide to stop it but in the next minutes you see yourself doing that same thing again and again. 

All the habits end in regret that is at the end of the activities, the person involved will go back  and be regretting what he or she did and wish it didn't happened. And most time those regrets lead to depression or suicide

Now let's suggest how you can overcome it. 

Step 1: Discover that very habit and always frown when you found yourself into the mess. 

Step2: Avoid the environment of people or whatsoever that makes you to commit such. 

Step3: As it unconscious incident, whenever you find yourself in such habit and come to your consciousness, stop it immediately. Remember it's a fight not romance. You have to fight it with all you have.

Step4: Don't get tired, you can try the above mentioned often times yet, nothing changes, please don't stop continue doing it until you overcome. 

Step5: Don't relax as soon it seems that you have overcome. Don't get yourself in that environment. Avoid anything that will lead to that remember, when the Pharaoh permits the Israelites to go. After few moments he regretted allowing them and ran after them to recapture them. So your habit may live for awhile but can't to be totally overcome. 

Step6: Pray God your maker to remove the stranger( unwanted habit) from you. 

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SOME SIGNS THAT THE RELATIONSHIP IS DYING GRADUALLY

You are in relationship and notice any of these signs, it means that the relationship is at collapsing stage. At this point, you don't need to force yourself to make it work anymore. The relationship can get to this stage when only one partner is making it to work. 

For a relationship to survive, it must be the collective effort of the two partners. Mind you nobody is doing each other favour in relationships. Its to the advantage of the two partners. 

1. You wake up early morning but you can't send even a good morning message to your love, trust me you are just pretending there is no love between two of you.(in long distance) 

2. Your lover sends you a message but you read without replying. Instead of hurting his/her feeling be open and tell him /her that you don't love her /him anymore. If you are busy to reply at the moment, let him/her know. And reply immediately you are through. It shows that you value him/her. 

3. You are in the same country you can take a week without hearing the voice of the so called lover.... My dear there is no love between two of you.

4. You organize to meet but every time you are saying you are busy. Why don't you tell him /her the truth that you don't love her /him. You can't be busy not to see whom you have feeling for(you love) irrespective your tight schedule. 

5. When you meet, you can't even give him /her a hug... why do you pretend you in love.

6. You always miss his/her call without calling back,its a true sign that you don't enjoy his or her communication. It's a sign of less value. 

7. You can't spare time for your lover but you spare time for other people. Why don't you be open to him /her that you don't love her /him

8. You've been dating for years without knowing If it's leading to marriage or not, tell him /her the truth and stop wasting someone's time.

9. Feelings are so painful If you don't love that person. Stop playing with his /her feelings. Be open say don't love her /him

10. Your lover's heart is not a doll to be played with. Be open and tell him /her that you don't love him / her anymore.

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SOME OF THE PRAYER TO SAVE YOUR HOME/RELATIONSHIP

According to the book of Num.14.28 - Now tell them this: As surely as I live, I will do to you the very things I heard you say. I, the LORD, have spoken!

1.I believe that as I pray this prayers, God in His mercy and grace will answer me in Jesus name.

2.I Thank God for my present marriage/relationship

3.I will not suffer in my relationship in Jesus name.

4.I will not enter into wrong relationship in Jesus name.

5.I will not be use and dump in Jesus name.

6.I will not be second choice to my spouse in Jesus name.

7.3rd party will not control my relationship in Jesus name.

8.My relationship will not end halfway in Jesus name.

9.What stops other people's relationships will not see us in Jesus name.

10.The spirit of divorce will not know me, my home's address in Jesus name.

11.My spouse must appreciate my efforts in Jesus name

12.I will not die untimely death in Jesus name. 

13.My relationship/marriage will not die in Jesus name

14.I will be a blessing to my marriage in Jesus name. 

15.I will not spoil my own relationship/marriage in Jesus name. 

16.I will not spoil what I have built in Jesus name.

17.I will not suffer and others enjoy in the name of Jesus 

18.I will not loose my spouse in Jesus name. 

19.Oh Lord my God Expose and destroy all household enemies 

20.Separate my households from agents of destruction in Jesus name. 

21.Prosper us in all side in Jesus name 

Pray this prayers with all yours heart and make sure you work with your prayers. As you pray do your best to build your marriage/relationship. 

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DANGER OF ABUSE

 

Abuse in relationships is one of the killers people are still taking for guaranteed as if it isn't in existence. People dies gradually as a result of the above context. Both physical, emotional, mental and what have you death. 

What is abuse in the first place?

Let us look at the definitions in dictionary. In one way or the other so many have consciously sent someone through this journey because he/she said yes to you..

Let's see what is abuse...... 

Improper treatment or usage; application to a wrong or bad purpose; misuse; perversion.

Physical or verbal maltreatment; injury.

Forcing of undesired sexual activity by one person on another

An unjust, corrupt or wrongful practice or custom; offense; crime; fault.

Coarse, insulting speech; abusive language.

synonyms

 invective, contumely, reproach, scurrility, insult, opprobrium

To put to a wrong use; to misapply; to use improperly; to misuse; to use for a wrong purpose or end; to pervert; as, to abuse one's authority. 

To have sex in a perverse manner; incest, homosexuality, prostitution.

To injure; to maltreat; to hurt; to treat with cruelty.

To attack with coarse language; to insult; to revile.

To deceive; to trick; to impose on.

 maltreat, injure, revile, reproach, vilify, vituperate, asperse, traduce, malign

So many people are victim of these, both men and female. Many have died as a result, many cried out and been vindicated and some have no voice to cry. 

Most times we think that men don't go through the abuse, men are also a victim. So many tolerates nonsense from their own wife because of one reason or the other, but because of societal believe that men doesn't cry out, that they only groans, nobody hears about it. I hear of a woman that beats her husband, but the husband out of shame refused to tell anybody.

One time ago, I hear of a woman that orally abuse the husband because the man lost his job and the wife turned to the bread winner of the house. 

 Many so called husband also abuse their wife, and put the woman into perpetual trauma, Pain disfigure over minor issues because you know that no one will ask you questions. 

But listen, all work will be tested by fire, God will judge every living being. Even our attitude towards our spouse will also appear before the judgment. 

EFFECTS OF THE ABUSE

 It capable of changing one's original nature. 

It make one's lost memory and focused 

It is capable of changing one's character negatively. 

It's capable of bringing untimely death 

It's brings generational curse 

It scatters home

It's exposes one to danger and also engage in dangerous act 

Emotional, mental physical illness 

Perpetual sadness 

Lost of self esteem 

Exposing to bad habits 

There are so many effect but mentioned few. 

Sometimes, some one can be going through abuse without knowing that it, so will know that they are going through it but don't don't know what to do. Especially in some society that does not care about about the voiceless.

Now, if you discovered that are going through any of these abuse, don't keep quiet, don't say or assume that you can endure it and overcome it, cry out. Look for help, look for someone that can help you or talk to you. Look for someone that you can confide on, that will even help you to find out if you are the cause of what you are going through. Or that will give you a guide on how to overcome.

Abuse is not what one can nurse,live with or quietly endure. Irrespective of your reasons. 

Many have died where they are trying to overcome it. Because of their children or one seems genue reason or the other. Remember if you die, the reason will still be there.

You the abuser, mind you that if you didn't suffer what you did to the voiceless less, your children will suffer it. 

Lamentation Lam.5.7 - It was our ancestors who sinned, but they died before the hand of judgment fell. We have suffered the punishment they deserved!

See what you are preparing for your generation. 

Some may be abusive but may not know it, observe the countenance of your spouse, children and people around you to discover when you are abusing them unknowingly. 

DON'T NURSE/ENDURE ABUSE OF ANY KIND, CRY OUT FOR HELP. MANY HAVE DIED TRYING TO ENDURE IT.

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RULES FOR SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

  Let's start this way; 

As a woman discover this, Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Most women are yet to discover their potential in men's life. There are divine call and assignments that God gave women but many don't know, some know but have not actually taking their position.

Unless you as a woman or man discover whom you are, your position in marriage, you won't be able to make it work. For your marriage to work it must be combine effort. It will also involve the both commitment of the two

It takes great commitment to make a marriage successful and blissful. This gift of God demands the commitment of those who are involved, it need total engagement, that you know it is not just enough in you are not committed or practicing it. The good thing is that the Bible is not silent on what couples must do to make their marriages work. Moreso not that some didn't know what to do to make it work but the problem is doing what you know to make it work.

We are blessed with some principles which will help us make our marriage work. The first one that catches our attention is SUBMISSION and love

 Wife must learn to  submit to her husband unconditionally. Your submission is a command from God. The submission is not because he is a good husband but because it's God's command.

God said man Love, what does it mean to love. It to drop, sacrifice, give out all for her to be happy and comfortable.

God said it's not optional but must.

This issue of love is a discussion of the next time. So we details it.

This God's command in Eph.5.22 - You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.

Eph.5.25 - And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her

Any woman who wants her marriage to succeed should imbibe on unconditional submission. This is the submission that does not attach any condition to compliance. This Christian wife must learn to submit to the husband. When she does this, she receives a blessing which money cannot buy from God. “For after this manner in the old time the holy woman also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, bring in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed

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BE WISE NOT TO BE USED AND DUMPED

 Reasons Why Some Ladies Are Used And Dumped

Ladies have made themselves preys to bad guys, while the bad guys are predators. These are some of the reasons why some ladies are easily used and dumped:

1. Some ladies are too materialistic. When a rich guy woos her, she becomes carried away by the wealth of the guy. She starts falling in love with the guy because of his money. The guy takes advantage of her and uses money to confuse her. The lady freely gives her body to him. When the guy is tired, he dumps her and picks another lady.

2.Some girls are easily deceived with sweet words. Just tell them sweet lies and they will open their legs for you without thinking twice. Guys use sweet lies to lure girls to bed.

3 Almost all ladies like the words: "I will marry you". The moment a guy tells a girl that he will marry her, she quickly opens her legs for the guy without thinking twice. The guy then uses and dumps her.

4. Some guys use engagement ring to deceive ladies, lure them to bed, use and dump them.

5. Ladies are too emotional. A lady gives all her body and soul to her guy, while guy gives her only his body; (except if the guy truly loves her).

SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM:

1. Do not have sex with a guy who has not yet married you, if you can.

2. Even if he has given you an engagement ring, do not open your legs for him. Engagement ring is not a guarantee that he will marry you.

3. Do not be carried away by the handsome face of a guy. Even angel Lucifer(Satan) is a very handsome and beautiful angel. So never you date a guy because of his handsome face.

4. Make investigation about the type of person you are dating. Ask questions about him from his friends and neighbours. Don't date someone blindly.

5. Do not be materialistic.

6. When a guy tells you sweet words, make a secret research to find out weather those sweet words are true or not.

7. If he says he loves you, test him to find out.

BUILD THAT MARRIAGE

Marriage is a cardinal aspect of a man's life. The day you got married, is like you bought a piece of land. Can you live in the ordinary land? of course no, you need to raise a structure. Likewise the marriage. Before you decided to buy a land, you had a mental picture of the kind of structure you want to erect there. But unfortunately, many young people don't have any clear picture of the kind of marriage they desire. 

The big strong and concrete buildings you see around, has a lot to do with the materials used. Young man, do you have materials to assist you in building your marriage? How many books on marriage and family life have you read, How many sound Christian movies on marriage and family life have you watched, how many marriage seminars have you attended? Do you even have a spiritual mentor that is vast in the word of God, how many messages have you listened to on marriage, how many verses of the scripture on marriage have you read and stored in your heart? 

I discovered that why many Christian marriages are failing is because the pastor does not have a detailed marriage section with intending couples. In your marriage section or class, were they taught on: 

*Communication in marriage

*Conflicts in marriage

*Adaptation and Adjustment in marriage

* In-laws undue interference in marriage. 

* Challeges in intertribal marriages. 

* Sexuality in marriage

* Marriage and carreer

* Marriage and ministry

* Child Training

* Marriage and Temperament

* Marriage and relationship between siblings and parents. Etc. 

Note those are a tip of the iceberg. They are just course titles with series of topics under each of them. After that, there should be serious and series of tests, quizzes and practical assignments. They should be told to buy some books and complex questions asked about it. They should have series of PRAYERS section, each of them should share his or her Revelations with the pastor or his delegate. The leadership should spend time to pray for them on his own. Have a great listen ear for them. A sister and daughter spend time to share with me her experiences and while we were discussing, the Lord took me to the various states she visited and I asked her about the things the Lord told me right on the spot and she confirmed them. In another scene, the Lord revealed to me a very big monkey like demon with a Yoruba name. We prayed and she became delivered and today she is happily married. 

Pastor, if you have a strong passion for your members, God will open your eyes and show you things about them. 

Are you happy to hear that the marriage you conducted or witnessed, after few months or years the marriage went down the drain? 

Singles I declare to you, that even if your parents didn't enjoy their marriage, you will continually enjoy yours in Jesus name.

SECRET TO SAVE YOUR KIDS

Most time we look at our children's knowledge now based on our own then without realising that the world then is not the same with the world now.

We should always look deep and ask questions about what they are doing. Most time they do us the more you see the less you see.

Most time they can use slang to deceive us. Even Bible verses we will think that our children are reading Bible without knowing that they are deceiving us.

Look at some of the words. Like Chelsea means breast, barca means buttocks and so many even some abbreviations like.

1) IWSN- I want sex now.

2) GNOC- Get naked on camera.

3) NIFOC- Naked in front of computer.

4) PIR- Parent in room.

5) CU46 - See you for sex.

6) 53X- Sex.

7) 9- Parent watching.

8) 99 -Parent gone.

9) 1174′- Party meeting place.

10) THOT- That hoe over there.

11) CID- Acid (the drug).

12) Broken- Hungover from alcohol.

13) 420- Marijuana.

14) POS- Parent over shoulder.

15) SUGARPIC- Suggestive or erotic photo.

16) KOTL- Kiss on the lips.

17) LsMIRL- Let’s meet in real life.

18) PRON- Porn.

19) TDTM- Talk dirty to me.

20) 8 -Oral sex.

21) CD9 -Parents around/Code 9.

22) IPN- I’m posting naked.

23) LH6- Let’s have sex.

24) WTTP- Want to trade pictures?

25) DOC- Drug of choice.

26) TWD- Texting while driving.

27) GYPO- Get your pants off.

28) KPC- Keeping parents clueless.

If you are a parent with grown kids who chat on phones with their mates take note of the

If you think parenting is still the same as what our parents did, You will fail...

Take to Learning.

 Please share to other parents.. And as parent we must ensure our children phones not on passwords.

God will help us so that the invested efforts in our parents won't be in vain